THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Have you ever wondered why foriegners have so much trouble with the English language? Well..........

 

Let`s face it

English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant.

No ham in the hamburger.

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England,

And french fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted

but if we examine its paradoxes, we find that,

Quicksand takes you down slowly,

Boxing rings are square,

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don`t fing?

If the plural of tooth is teeth.

Shouldn`t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?

If the teacher taught,

Why didn`t the preacher praught?

If the vegetarian eats vegetables.

What on earth does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite a play

Yet play a recital?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

Of a language where a house can burn up as

It burns down.

And in which you fill in a form

By filling it out

Any a bell is heard only once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers,

and it reflects the creativity of the human race

 (which of course isn`t a race at all)

That is why

When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible !