DOG LETTERS TO GOD

 

Dear God

Let me give you a list of some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

I will not eat the cats food before they eat it or after they have thrown it up.

I will not roll on dead seagulls,fish,crabs etc. just because I like the way they smell.

I will not munch on `leftovers` in the cat litter box; although they are tasty , they are not food.

The nappy bucket is not a cookie jar.

The sofa is not a face towl; neither are mum and dad`s laps.

the garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

My head does not belong in the fridge.

I will not play tug-of-war with dad`s underwear when he`s on the toilet.

Sticking my nose into someones crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I`m lying under the coffee table.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it`s usually not a good thing.

Dear God, may I have my testicles back ?