OH HAPPY DAY !

                      DAFFODILS

 

        I wandered lonely as a cloud

       That floats on high o`er vales and hills,

       When all at once I saw a crowd,

       A host of golden daffodils;

        Beside the lake,  Beneath the tree,

        Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

 

       Continuous as the stars that shine

       And twinkle on the milky way,

       They stretch in never-ending line

       Along the margin of the bay;

       Ten thousand saw I at a glance,

       Tossing their head`s in sprightly dance.

 

      The waves beside them danced,  but they

       Outdid the sparkling waves in glee:-

        A poet could not but be gay,

        In such a jocund company;

        I gazed-and-gazed but little thought

        What wealth the show to me had brought:

 

       For oft when on my couch I lie

       In vacant or in pensive mood,

       They flash upon that inward eye

       Which is the bliss of solitude,

       And then my heart with pleasure fills,

       And dances with the daffodils.

     

 William Wordsworth                                                                    

 

PIPPA`S SONG  by Robert Browning

The year`s at the spring,

And day`s at the morn;

Morning`s at seven;

The hill-side`s dew pearl`d;

The lark`s on the wing

The snail`s on the thorn;

God`s in his heaven -

All`s right with the world

These are two of my favourite poems, both of which are joyful and fit well with my frame of mind today.  Today is for me, a good day, and it it be the same for you all.  The signature was made for me for my very good friend, Sharon.  I love her journal so please take a look yourself.  It`s worth a read.

 

THE GHOSTS OF PURLEY HALL

THE GHOSTS OF PURLEY HALL

Miss Emma Elizabeth Thoyts stayed at the hall over 100 years ago and felt a supernatural force.  Miss Thoyts lived in rural splendour at Sulhamstead House, surrounded by acres of parkland.  Sulhamstead House is now the headquarters training centre for the Thames valley Police.

   Writing in 1892, Miss Thoyts complained not only of the feeling of such a force but also of the terrible smell that went with it.   She said `In 1889, I was asked to stay there to be present at a meeting of the Berkshire Archaeological Society.  When shown to my room, I was nearly poisoned by the smell.   It was late,  and I began to undress when a panic urged me that the room was haunted.   It was without rhyme or reason,  but so positive that although I only had a vague idea where my hostess`s room was,  I resolved to go and seek her.`

` I knocked at the door I believed to be hers, and heard a voice say " come in ",  and gladly I entered.  She persauded me to return to my room,  but on going there,  the smell was so bad I could not remain.  I therefore shared her room for the night

   ` Next day I asked Miss Currie,  Mrs Wilder`s sister, if the room was haunted, and she said yes,  that stories were told that cries were heard,  and that a little child came and stared as one knelt at prayers.

One of the girls of the Hawes family was very lovely;  but was destroyed by her lover,  a colonel in the army.  In that room ,  her child was born --  and murdered;  the body being concealed in a cupboard.  The cries are from the baby,  answered by low moans from the wretched mother.

`  When the room was whitewashed in 1890,  a blocked up window was found where the cupboard had been,  showing this and the next room were once all in one and were probably the drawing room.  Nothing was found in the window.

`  Of the Hawes family,  little is known , except that they bought the property from the Hydes and changed the name from Hydes Hall to Purley hall.  They lost a lot of money in the  South Sea Speculations,  and only managed to keep the house by letting it to a tenant.

` In 1770 it was bought by Dr Wilder of Nunhide from Francis Hawes ,  a linen draper of Cheapside.  Of the womankind of the Hawes family,  nothing is known,  but in Purley church there is a tablet to Elizabeth Hawes.

` I was there when someone asked Mrs Wilder  "  Is not Purley Hall haunted ?"  Mrs Wilder did not like that at all;  and they hastily dropped the subject.`

It seems that one of the Hawes family`s tenants was Warren Hastings,  the first Governor-General of India,  and he returned to live there for some years after Dr Wilder bought the property.  Like so many others in the world of politics,  Hastings had made enemies,  and in 1788 was impeached in the House of Commons.   He retired to Purley to put together his defence against accusations that could have sent him to the scaffold,  and after a lengthy trial, was aquitted.  He died a vindicated man at the age of 86.

Hastings` ghost was seen often in the house,  which had aquired such an oppresive atmosphere that the people who lived there in the 1960s arranged a service of exorcism.  They were delighted with its success,  and reported that the atmosphere had changed completely,  and although Hastings` ghost was still seen ,  it left a friendly and happy impression.

Ghosts of Berkshire by Ian McLoughlin.

 

                                      

                                                           PURLEY HALL

 

 

MY FAVOURITE PHOTO

This is my 22yr old husband Jim and our week old daughter Kerry.  I didn`t realise she was ever quite so small or that Jim was so slim and had so much hair

This is Kerry at 7mths.  I remember this photo well.  She looks deep in thought but she is actually watching the cat.  You can see the puddle left where I have moved the cat`s saucer of milk.  Kerry was watching the cat drink the milk and I`m sure if she could have crawled over to grab the cat she would have done.

This has to be the very best photo I have ever had of Kerry.  She was 8yrs old and had had her very long hair cut only recently.   She looks lovely and relaxed. The photo is a bit marked and has some stains on it, but I had to put this in my journal as I`ve said before:  It is the best and I love it.  Jeannette wanted to know which photo is our favourite and I gave it a lot of thought.  In the end I couldn`t decide because I have so many that I love.  But this one has to be `it` if I had to choose just one photograph.

 

A big thank you to my good friend Sharon for making this signature for me.

CUTTING REMARKS !

 

                                                                                  

 

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.

Alexander Woollcott

The English never smash in a face.  They merely refrain from asking it to dinner.

Margaret Halsey

England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.

Voltaire

The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

Quentin Crisp

Britain is the only country in the world where being " too clever by half" is an insult.

A.A. Gill

I hope you like these insults I have put in this entry. Being English myself I thought it best to insult my own nation before I start on anyone else`s !   Of course if anyone objects I won`t post anymore about countries and will stick to Cutting Remarks on other subjects.  So if you do leave a comment, tell me what you think...........

THE TELEPHONE

The Telephone

It comes in black

and blue, indecisive

beige. In red and chaperones my life.

Sitting like a strict

and spinstered Aunt spiked between my needs

and need.

 

It tats the day, crocheting

other people`s lives

in neat arrangements

ignoring me

busy with the hemming

of strangers` overlong affairs or

the darning of my

neighbors` worn-out

dreams.

 

From Monday, the morning of the week,

through mid-times

noon and Sunday`s dying

light. It sits silent.

It`s needle sound

does not transfix my ear

or draw my longing to a close.

 

Ring.  Damn you !

Maya Angelou.

 

                                               

NOT MY DAY !

HOPPING MAD !   GRRRR !   FURIOUS ! MAD AS A SACK OF SNAKES !  ( apparently they say that in Queensland, Australia, so I`m told.) I`ve just spent 30 mins. doing my daily entry when CRASH !   I lost the lot, and it wasn`t even my fault this time.  Anyway,  I had put up the lovely graphic and somehow I`m not in thew right frame of mind to use it again today.  Mind you, the graphic is called dragon girl and I`m certainly breathing fire at the moment  LOL, so maybe it`s more appropriate than I thought !  Today I`ve been busy, busy, busy.  With the food shopping,  ironing; both of which took me hours and I hate both tasks with a passion but someone has to do them , I suppose.  I also got a phone call giving me a date for my operation on my arm.  16th February.  I detest hospitals and I nearly told the woman I didn`t want it done, but I`ve waited months and it will be good to have full movement back in my hand.  So I will summon up my courage ( what little I have, that is !) and get on with it !

I am sorry that this entry is so dull , with the exception of my lovely siggie, but I haven`t time now to do anything else.  I`ll be back tomorrow and post something readable , as long as the journal doesn`t mess me about again.  Now to get some dinner ready and then wash my hair...............

 

A RESCUE DOGS WAYS

 A RESCUE DOGS WAY`S

The sound of rustling bed sheets,

Awaken to feet on the floor,

Peering through the dark,

A shadowy figure moves towards the door.

Creaking and moaning,

The foosteps leave the room.

 

Morning has arrived,

With a refreshing yawn,

And a large stretch,

I wander out of the room,

And go to my master`s side.

 

Ears pushed back,

Tail wiggling,

The comforting hand is laid upon me,

Removing those morning itches,

And night time fears.

 

Back down the hall we move,

My master gets ready for the day,

And I wait silently.

 

All is done,

The day is ready to begin,

Migrating to the door,

Where a leash is attached to me.

The open door sends cool air,

And fresh morning scents to me,

Stepping out the door,

My feet grip the cool ground.

 

Beauty surrounds me,

Trees and plants,

Other animals of the world,

The sky painted,

In shades of pink, purple and orange.

 

When we approach an open field,

The leash is removed,

Now free to run,

I search for a fallen branch,

Spotting one in front of me,

I grip it to my mouth,

And bring it to my master.

 

Knowing what I want,

The stick is thrown with force,

Running for the stick,

I realise how happy I am,

And how wonderful to be this way.

 

Having a home to live in,

A bed to sleep in,

Food to eat,

And a master who loves me.

 

Knowing a lot of dogs don`t have this privilege,

And have to live their lives day by day,

Not sure they will have enough food to live another,

 

I give my love,

My happiness,

My good times,

And my life to my master,

Knowing he will do the same for me,

Wouldn`t you want that?

I have altered some of the text and left out some of the content.  My apologies to the unknown author of this poem.

 

My thanks to Angel for making this beautiful signature.

 

KERRY`S FIRST SCAN

This is the first photograph of my first grandchild who is due on 31st July. He/she is 13 weeks old and almost fully formed as you can tell from the photo of Kerry`s first scan.  It is amazing to see the little one , who is only about 4 inches long at the moment, so clearly.  I never had this when I was expecting my children and it is so wonderful to see the development of your own flesh and blood. 

                                                                 

JAKE`S HERE TO STAY

Today is Jake`s 3rd day with us and he is settling in so well .   The first night he was as good as gold and never woke us up at all.  He stayed downstairs, which is a good thing.  He has simply chosen not to climb stairs which suits as all.  From his point of view it is good because he can`t hurt his hips with climbing and from ours he won`t be in and out of the bedrooms.  He saw our vet yesterday and he was very impressed with him. He likes his nature and condition and he said he is a very fine specimen.  His origins lie in working labradors, who were field trial champions.  So I may try to get him involved for fun as he is a clever dog and young and so willing to please.  I can  give him all his basic training , retrieving etc.  But then I`ll find a club and take his training further.  It`s an interest for us both.  Another good thing about Jake is that he gives a warning bark when someone knocks on the door.  He makes me feel safe when I`m in the house on my own when Jim is on late shift.  So after just three days we have a treasure of a dog and he is coming out of his shell.  All the family that have met him adore him and what more could we ask other than a nice, contented, happy and healthy canine companion like Jake ?!!!

 

                                                                         

MY BABY PHOTO !

Well, this is it folks !  I think I`m rather brave to post this photo.  I had thought of doing it a while back but thought better of it, but Jeannette has requested our baby photos, so I thought why not.  That curly hair of mine has been a life long nuisance to me.  Most people think I have straight hair but they don`t see what I go through to get it this way.  I`m not VERY curly, just annoyingly wavy !

Still, I think in this photo I`m not more than a year old.  I have four teeth and I remember being told that I was ten months old before I had my first tooth !   I am smiling in the photo, but I was told I was a very miserable baby and that this was unusual.  Unfortunately, I can`t quite remember that far back and can`t comment on that !

 

JAKES HOME !

Meet Jake.  The new member of our family.  He arrived today at midday and promptly made himself at home.  Luckily so far, he is well behaved in the house and is very clean.  He is a little jumpy if say, I turn the tumble dryer on, or pull out a chair, but he has been through so much these past three months and he will need time to relax and find his feet.  We took him for a walk today but he really pulls on the lead.  We think he hasn`t been walked very much in the past, but I will take him to obedience classes and we will get through any problems I`m sure.  He is a little clingy but I`m only fussing him when I want to and not under his terms.  He is excellent with children of all ages so that is good too.  So we think we have a good one here and hope that he does grow to love us !   He is a little to thin so we will feed him up.  Being a Labrador that won`t be difficult !   I made some cheese rolls for our midday snack and he just waited for any breadcrumbs to hit the floor. Anyway, it`s time he was fed so I`d better not keep him waiting !

 

 

COME AND SEE THE PUPPY! (NOT MINE)

Meet Marshal,   the German Shepherd puppy who belongs too some very good friends of ours.  He is 10 weeks old and is absolutely adorable.  Our friends, the RBs , used to have a big Labrador, Barny, who treated our house as his second home.  He would come and stay during his holidays, when the RB`s were away.  It was lovely to have him to stay with our two dogs, Rosie and Hannah and we were very upset when he died.

Now all three dogs are no longer with us and now it`s a new generation.  Marshal has come into the RBs lives after three dogless years.   Now we are getting Jake and we have all agreed to get our furry friends together hoping they will be friends as the other dogs were.  We are all looking forward to long muddy walks in the woods, well perhaps, not too muddy, we`ll leave that to the dogs.    As for us, we are just happy to return to dog walking on a regular basis.   Of course, we will complain about it being cold, wet, windy etc.  But it will be worth it !  Next time I post a picture of Marshal he will be a lot bigger ,  but at the moment he is all cute and cuddly....Awww sweet !

 

 

Puppies are nature`s remedy

for feeling unloved.....

and numerous other

ailments of life.

Richard Allen Palm                         

 

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE !

 

STRANGE DAY

I don`t really know what to write today.   I have emailed some of my friends with the good news that I will be getting a new doggy friend on Sunday.  But more of that next week.   I`ve had a hectic day with all sorts going on around me. I`ve had visitors and been shopping.  I tripped over and banged my hip in the kitchen this afternoon !   It was my own fault as I wasn`t looking where I was going and but it did hurt at the time.  No, today seems a little strange and I don`t know why.  I have this feeling that something is about to happen but for the life of me I don`t know what.  I know I should trust my feelings because I`ve felt like this before something totally unexpected happened.  So I will just have to wait and see .  It`s not something that I feel worried about, thankfully.   My journal friend Sherry has had some bad news and it would be nice if you were to go and give her a little support, thank you.  That only leaves me to wish you all a very good weekend.  Take care of yourselves.

 

HERNE THE HUNTER

                                 

The Anglo Saxon Chronicle records 1127 ` Let no one be surprised at what we are about to relate.   It was common gossip up and down the countryside that after Feb. 6th, many people both saw and heard a pack of huntmen in full cry.  They straddled black horse and black bucks, with pitch black hounds with hideous staring eyes.`

The phantom huntsmen were an old Saxon legend which goes back into the mists and myths of European folklore.  Herne`s story has been told and retold for over a thousand years, and still his ghost appears,  wearing the antlers of a stag,  riding a phantom black stallion, at the head of a pack of baying black hounds.  Legend has it that he appears to warn of times of trouble, and gallops through Windsor Great Park, only to disappear into thin air.

Herne was a young huntsman in the service of Richard 11, King of England from 1377 to 1399, when he was deposed by Henry 1V, the son of Hungerford`s most famous benefactor, John O`Gaunt.

Like most of the aristocracy, Richard`s favourite occupation was hunting, and he kept professional hunters to make sure of consistantly good sport.  Herne was a particularly good woodsman and was a favourite of the King, who always chose him to join his hunting party.  Herne rode a beautiful black horse and was accompanied by two black hunting hounds.  They were a good team and the other hunters could not conceal their envy.

One day,  Herne led the hunters on the track of a large stag with a spectacular set of antlers.  The animal took to its heels, and the king and Herne galloped after it.  As Richard was riding hard behind the fleeing stag,  the animal turned to gore him.  Herne saw in an instant the danger to his royal master, and flung himself into the path of the charging stag.  He thrust his dagger into the animal`s neck and the king was saved.  Herne was badly wounded, and the stag lay dying from Herne`s dagger thrust.

The king was deeply shocked, and called for the hunting party to dismount to see what they could do for his injured huntsman.  Richard did not want to lose the man who had served him so well, and offered a large reward to anyone who could save him.  The other huntsmen , secretly pleased that this young upstart had got his come-uppance, merely suggested putting him out of his misery.

At that point, a mysterious figure appeared and told the king he was Philip Urswick, a physician, and that Herne would die unless treated immediately.  The hunting party looked at the newcomer with suspician.  The king asked him if he was a poacher, and the huntsmen promptly claimed that he must be, as no one had ever seen him before.  But the man was well dressed and riding a fine horse, so Richard decided his only option was to give the Urswick a chance.

The stranger took out a large hunting knife and set about cutting the antlers from the dead stag.  He removed them and to everyone`s surprise, plced them on Herne`s head.  The he ordered the huntsmen to make a stretcher out of branches and carry Herne to his hut in the forest.  He told them his patient would recover under his care,  and would be back at the king`s side in one months time.

The keepers were not pleased.  The chance of getting rid of their rival was slipping away and they rounded on Urswick .  He asked them what they could do for him if he took their part, but they were poor men and had nothing to offer him.  The wily Urswick told them his prophecy would come true,  but he would cast a spell which would cause Herne to lose his mastery of woodcraft.  In return, the keepers would perform the first task Urswick asked of them.   Urswick proved right, and a month later a fully recovered Herne was provided with rooms at Windsor Castle.  The king, delighted at his swift recovery, gave him a silver hunting horn and a purse of gold.

But Herne had lost his touch, and was now a failure on the hunt.  His former magic had left him,  and the king soon became irritated with Herne`s inability to provide a good day`s sport.  he was dismissed,  much to the delight of the jealous keepers.  The distraught Herne,  robbed of the only life he knew or wanted,  rode off in a mad gallop into the forest,  wearing the antlers which Urswick had used to save his life.  Later that day, his lifeless body was found.  He had hanged himself from an oak tree.

The man who found him went to the castle for help, and returned with the keepers of the forest.  But when they got to the tree, the body was gone.  A storm was brewing, and as they wondered what to do, a bolt of lightening split the tree almost in half.

The curse of Herne was then transferred to the other keepers.  King Richard was mightily displeased with their lack of results on hunting trips, and the keepers felt the lash of the royal tongue.  They decided to consult Urswick again.  He told them to go to Herne`s Oak, as it quickly and permanently became known, and follow whatever instructions they recieved.

The unhappy band arrived at midnight to find the ghost of Herne, wearing his antlers.  He ordered them to return the next night with horses and hounds ready for the hunt.  They duly complied and, and Herne galloped of at their head.  Deep in the forest, the hunting party stopped and Urswick appeared as if by magic.

Urswick greeted the hunters and reminded them of their promise to pay him.  Now was the moment of truth, when they must pay the price for their wicked jealousy,  and for Urswick`s collaboration with their dastardly plot.

He commanded them to follow Herne to the ends of the earth.  They would become his hunting party, condemned to follow him , night after night , slaughtering the deer of the forest.  Mesmerized,  they did as they were bid, and soon the tale came to the ear of the king, who was told of the strange, night-time zombies who were depleting the royal forests at an alarming rate.

Richard called the head keeper to him and demand an explaination.  The poor man was terrified out of his wits.  What the keepers had initially seen as a bit of strange magic which had turned to their advantage had backfired badly and now they had no option but to obey.The frightened keeper blurted out the truth to the king, expecting the royal wrath to be swift and unmerciful.

But Richard thought carefully before taking action, and consulted his Queen, Anne of Bohemia, whose upbringing was steeped in the magical forests around her home in Prague.  Herne had saved his life and Richard, in good faith had allowed the mysterious Urswick to become involved.  Richard concluded that Herne could justifiably claim that he had been wronged , and commanded the the keepers to take him with them on the next night`s hunt.

Midnight came, and the king stood at the head of his keepers to where Herne`s oak stood with it`s coat of mistletoe.  The ghost of Herne was silent, astride his black horse, with his two black hounds at his feet.  King Richard approached and asked Herne why he was acting in such a violent and destructive way.  Herne said he was entitled to revenge for such bad treatment at the hands of his fellow keepers.  They were responsible for his death, and now he would be responsible for theirs.  He told the king they must be hanged from Herne`s Oak, or the dreadful hauntings would continue as long as Richard reigned .  Then the ghost of herne disappeared.

Richard returned thoughtfully to the castle,  pondering his response to Herne`s demand, he was not disposed to lose his entire band of keepers, but he could not see any alternative.  The next day he had every one of them hanged on the oak tree,   exactly as Herne had commanded.  Herne never troubled King Richard again.

Ghosts of Berkshire by Ian McLoughlin

Herne was specifically mentioned for the first time in William Shakespeare`s `Merry Wives of Windsor`  The character of Mistress Page describes Herne thus :

`There is an old tale goes that Herne the Hunter,

Sometimes a keeper here in Windsoe Forest,

Doth all the wintertime, at still midnight,

Walk around about an oak, with great ragg`d horns;

And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,

And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain

In a most hideous and dreadful manner.

You have heard of such a spririt, and well you know

The superstitions idle-headed eld

Received, and did not deliver to our age,

This tale of Herne the Hunter for a truth`

I was first told this story by my Dad when I was a child.  He knew how to tell a story well and he succeeded in scaring me half to death with his descriptions of Herne !   Whilst driving through Windsor Great park today I looked about  just in case Herne and his hunters came riding past. But then I thought, it`s daytime so he won`t be around.  But I would never drive through there at night !

 

 

COMPUTERS...WHO`D HAVE `EM ?

COMPUTERS....WHO`D HAVE `em ?

Get on the internet everyone said

It`s the move I knew I would dread

Letting gremlins into my home

Around my computer they`ll roam

If I find them, they`ll wish they were dead!

 

We logged on as usual that night

It logged off and gave me a fright!

It left me a message....  How kind

That would drive me out of my mind

And introduce me to a new web site!

 

I`ve found Window`s updates & it`s true

They are designed to help me and you,

If only I`d done what they asked

Instead of moving on past

Perhaps tonight I wouldn`t be in this stew?

 

I`ve followed instructions for Windows XP

At this rate I`ll be up until 3

I`ve been at it since 5

But there`s no worm alive

That`s going to get the better of me!

 

Now as a beginner I found I`ve got "back up"

It`s called Microsoft and hey they`re no pup!

When it comes to ironing out

All these problems, well there`s no doubt

Microsoft, to you I raise my cup!

 

O.K. so now I`m au fait with "update"

And I promise no more will I be late

I`ll watch out and I won`t take a chance

I`ll make my Microsoft Assistant dance

They`ll be downloaded, I`m not going to tempt fate!

 

I`ve a Firewall, aren`t I the lucky one?

That`s another thing that I should have done!

Oh these computers they are swell

`Till you get... the Virus from Hell

And then you wish you`d never heard of .com

 

I`ve heard "you can`t get this virus from email"

Oh yeah & and whose flagship are you trying to sail?

You can get it from the source

Then you let it run it`s course

Next...there`s the message " you`ve got mail!"

 

Do I open it ? I wonder if it`s right?

If I do...what will be my plight?

Will I live and rue the day

That I let worms come out to play

Will I just delete it, perhaps I just might

 

Now my son needs to connect to the internet

He has homework to do for school...and yet

I wonder what it was we did before

We opened up the Computer door

Oh we "did" Library, and hey what a safe bet!

Copyright; Cathie Dunn

                                     

                                                                

GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY !

Well the rains did come and the rains did go

`Twas recorded in the bible you know.

This was much more than a passing shower

That made old Noah Man of the Hour.

 

Now God told the old boy what he should do

About all the animals two by two.

When the rain stopped it still can amaze

They floated on the flood for days and days.

 

Often wondering where they were at

Noah came to land at Mt Ararat.

Then he said with a wink of an eye,

" O.K. You lot, go forth and multiply!"

 

Keen to comply they knew what to do

The animals bolted still two and two,

Then Noah heard snakes cry by the ladders,

 " We can`t do that, `cause we`re only adders".

Copyright; Wally (The Bear) Finch

JUST A POEM

THE GENESIS OF BUTTERFLIES  by Victor Hugo

The Dawn is smiling on the dew that covers

The teaful roses; lo,  the little lovers

That kiss the buds, and all the flutterings

In jasmine bloom,  and privet, of white wings,

That go and come,  and fly,  and peep and hide,

With muffled music,  murmured far and wide !

Ah, Spring time,  when we think of all the ways,

That dreamy lovers send to dreamy mays,

Of the fond hearts within a billet bound,

Of all the soft silk paper that pens wound

The messages of love that mortals write

Filled with intoxication of delight,

Written in April,  before the may time

Shredded and flown,  play things for the wind`s play-time,

We dream that all white butterflies above,

Who seek through clouds or waters soul to love,

And leave their lady mistress in despair

To flit to flowers, as kinder or more fair,

Are but torn love-letters,  that through the skies

Flutter,  and float,  and change to Butterflies.

ON AVERAGE TRIVIA

A Hedgehog`s heart beats 190 times a minute on average and drops to only 20 beats during hibernation.

 

An average beaver can cut down two hundred trees a year.

 

An average pig squeals at a range of 100 to 115 decibels.

 

An average number of hummingbirds required to create the weight of 1 ounce : 18

 

Average number of squirts from a cow`s udder needed to yield a gallon of milk : 345

 

Cats average 16 hours of sleep a day,  more than any other mammal.

 

Every sqaure of the human body has an average of 32 million bacteria on it.

 

Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour - about 1.5 pounds a year.  By 70 years of age, an average person will have lost 105 pounds of skin.

 

If the average man never never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.

 

On average women say 7000 words per day.  Men just manage over 2000.

 

 

 

 

 

 

GHOST STORY

The Royal Stag public house in the nearby village of Datchet has one of the most eerie phenomena in the county.  From time to time, and totally without warning,  a spectral handprint becomes visible on one of the windows.

   According to legend,  the print is made by the ghost of a young boy,  vainly trying to attract the attention of the people in the warm ans comfortable hostelry.  The story goes that the boy was taken to the pub by his father,  a village labourer in Victorian times.

   It was deep midwinter,  and snow lay thick on the ground.  The landlord would not let the boy inside,  and his father told him to wait while he drank his ale.  The boy wandered into the graveyard immediately next door and tried to amuse himself.  It was bitterly cold,   and the mischevious attraction of throwing snowballs at gravestones soon palled.  He ran around in the snow to keep warm,  but quickly became tired in the intense cold,  and went to the light of the alehouse window to look for his father.

   The man seemed to have completely forgotten about his young son,  and stayed inside, drinking.   By now the boy was pitifully cold,  and tapped on the window to try to attract someone`s attention.  His last desperate act was to push the window pane with his hand.   The print froze on the glass.  Exhausted,  he fell asleep in the snow in the graveyard.  By the time he was found he had frozen to death.

   And so the boy`s ghostly handprint appears periodically on the window.  In 1979 a national newspaper told the story accompanied,  accompanied by a photograph of the handprint.  The newspaper got a local glazier to take out the pane of glass so it could be examined.  The glazier replaced the window with a new one.  The old glass was subjected to all sorts of scientific tests,  but nothing was found,  it was just an old window pane,  and eventually the technicians had to admit there was nothing strange whatsoever about it.

   But meanwhile,  the handprint had appeared again - on the brand new pane of glass.  It was a clear imprint of a left palm,  fingers and thumb, quite small,  and almost certainly that of a young child.

   Whatever was manifesting itself at the Royal Stag was obviously not happy with the reaction it was causing.  One night a copy of the newspaper photograph was left on the bar, where locals had been examining and discussing it.  Next morning the landlord came down to find broken glass everywhere.  Bottles and glasses had been smashed all over the the bar and on the floor -  and no one had heard a thing.  Tales of beer glasses moving about became common.  Ghostly footsteps were heard frequently when there was no one to make them,  and strange noises were heard in the cellar.

   Like so many ghostly happenings,  events at the Royal Stag are totally unpredictable and cannot usually be induced.  Who knows when the mysterious handprint will appear again on the window ?  But you can be sure that when it happens,  the TV cameras will be there as quickly as the newsmen can carry them.  Ghosts make good stories and even better television.

Taken from GHOSTS OF BERKSHIRE by IAN McLOUGHLIN.

 

FRIDAY STUFF

OKLAHOMA LAWS

Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

 

Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another`s hamburger.

 

Whaling is illegal.

 

It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.

 

People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.

 

Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings.

 

                               

If you sneeze on a Monday, you sneeze for danger;

Sneeze on a Tuesday, kiss a stranger;

Sneeze on a Wednesday, sneeze for a letter;

Sneeze on a Thursday,  something better;

Sneeze on a Friday,  sneeze for sorrow;

Sneeze on a Saturday,  see your sweetheart tomorrow.

Sneeze on a Sunday, and the devil will have domination over you all week.

 

                                         

 

FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH

More than 80 percent of high-rises lack a 13th floor.

 

Many airports skip the 13th gate

 

Hospitals and hotels regularly have no room number 13.

 

Many triskaidekaphiles, as those that fear the unlucky number are known, point to the ill-fated mission to the moon, Appollo 13.

 

If you have thirteen letters in your name,  you will have the devil`s luck.   Jack the Ripper,  Charles Manson,  Jeffrey Dahmer,  Theodore Bundy and Alberto De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names.

 

                     

 

JUST STUFF

A limping mountain lion walks into a bar in the Rockies.  The bartender said : " What do you want ?"   The lion replied :   "  I`m looking for the man who shot my paw.  "

 

 

Real friends are those who,  when you`ve made a fool of yourself,  don`t feel that you`ve done a permanent job.

Erwin T. Randall

 

We have no right to ask, when sorrow comes, Why did this happen to me?  unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way.

Philip S. Bernstein

Crying only a little bit is no use.  You must cry until your pillow is soaked.  Then you can get up and laugh.....

Galway Kinnell

There is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us, that ill becomes any of us to find fault with the rest of us.

Anonymous

 

 

INSULTS

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style.  It will look ridiculous year after year.

Fred Allen

 

Her only flair is her nostrils.

Pauline Kael

 

His smile is like the silver plate on a coffin.

John Philpott Curran

 

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearesr derriere.

Noel Coward

 

She got her good looks from her father.  He`s a plastic surgeon.

Groucho Marx

 

She had much in common with Hitler, only no moustache.

Noel Coward

She not only kept her lovely figure,  she`s added so much to it.

Bob Fosse

WHAT A DAY !

Oh dear what a day !   1) New washing machine breaks down.......2)  Pump in central heating boiled needs changing.  Yes, I know thats only 2 things, but the first left me with a machine full of unrinsed and sopping wet towels and a basket full of unwashed clothes.  I had to put the towels into buckets and pack them off to Kerry to rinse and spin.  THEN I gave her three loads of washing to do for me, which she kindly did but I don`t like to ask even though she is my daughter as she has enough to do herself.

Then the d**n pump on the boiler !   I`m sooo fed up with the system failing to come on in the mornings even though it is set on the timer.  The thing starts up but doesn`t ignite.  So I get up and take the cover off of said boiler, remove small tube and blow gently down it....boiler lights, well that was what it has been doing for a while now.   Today it wouldn`t ignite at all. Heating engineer says we need a new pump.  Its going again now and should be Ok for at least a week when he`s coming to fix it.  The heating engineer is alright because he`s my nephew so no worries there, it`s just the inconvenience of it all.

On the plus side today went to Battersea Dogs Home Annexe in Windsor to register as would-be owners. They have these lists for people like ourselves that are breed specific  (we would like a Labrador). They had two lovely males there but they were reserved by other would-be lab owners.  So we will wait our turn.   We did look at the other dogs but there weren`t any there that were considered good with children, and as Kerry will be a frequent visitor with the baby, we couldn`t take a chance.

Other news, yesterday we had our long awaited bathroom basin, radiator and shower fitted,  OH Joy! you here me cry.....Nah not a word of it....Jim tried to fit the shower screen today and guess what ?   The fittings are the wrong way round.  So he has to get that sorted out with my nephew and they will have to refit it between them.   Next week...still I have my shower and my basin so I should be just a little bit grateful.  Maybe I expect too much as the bathroom was only started in August last year !

I`m off now to visit Kerry who had her first antenatal appointment today and I want to find out all her news..... and collect my washing   LOL .

 

 

 

 

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK

                              

 Have a look at this webcam of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park.  Ever since I was told about this site a couple of years ago, I regularly visit online to see if I can see it when it `blows`.  I have caught it many times now.  The times of eruptions are very accurate to within 10 minutes either way of the times predicted  It`s really great to see the changing seasons.  At ther moment there is snow on the ground there and its freezing cold.  The Yellowstone site itself is well worth exploring.,  just don`t expect to find Yogi Bear and Boo Boo there ! 

KERRY` TRAVELS

This photo is a production of the musical " The King and I ".  Because of the stage lighting during the taking of the photo it doesn`t show off the gorgeous costumes worn as well as it might. 

This photo was taken on Deception Island, Antartica in 2001.  Kerry said there is nowhere like Antartica for its very strange weather.  One moment it can be sunny and calm, the next a storm will come from nowhere.  That said, the storms there are very violent but just as quickly as they start they stop again.  The safety of the passengers is paramount and they all have to wear specially marked clothing that the ship provides because they have to be seen at all times.  Though the snow has melted in this picture, there is still treacherous ice all around.  If anyone was to fall into the icy water they could be dead in seconds.  It does seem a little odd to me that they have white plastic garden chairs by the waters edge with penguins walking around being nosey !   Kerry says that penguins are the smelliest of birds with the most unfortunate toilet habits whichI will leave to your imagination.  Needless to say they only eat fish !

MY BABIES

This rather scruffy photo was taken when my son was 5 mths and my daughter was 3 yrs.  Kerry had just started play group and when the photographer came she wanted her baby brother with her.  I remember that day well because that morning we found Daniel had cut his first tooth and we hadn`t known he was teething at all !  I still carry this photo around with me, hence its poor condition.  I do like to think that it was only yesterday when this was taken, but of course it was 27 years ago.  Kerry is having a baby of her own in August and Danny is a fitness fanatic and is tall and muscely.  Still they are my babies however old they are !

 

                                         

MANGLED SONG LYRICS

I can`t be alone in mis-hearing song lyrics.  Here are some lyrics that people have managed to mess up in a funny way.  They are officially called "mondegreens."

 

Are you going to starve an old friend ?

Actual lyric: Are you going to Scarborough Fair ?

( Simon and Garfunkel)

 

All my luggage, I will send to you.

Actual lyric :  All my loving , I will send to you.

(Beatles)

 

Bald headed woman.

Actual lyric :  More than a woman.

( Bee Gees)

 

Donuts make my brown eyes blue.

Actual lyric :  Don`t it make my brown eyes blue.

( Crystal Gayle )

 

Come shave my heart.

Actual lyric :  Unchain my heart.

( Ray Charles)

 

Do a little dance,  make a little rum,  Italian Ice!  Italian Ice !

Actual lyric :  Do a little dance, make a little love,  get down tonight,  get down tonight.

( KC & The Sushine Band " Do a Little Dance")

 

Hang on stupid.

Actual lyric :   Hang on Sloopy.

( The McCoys)

 

Give me the Beach Boys and free my soul.

Actual lyric :  Give me the beat, boys , and free my soul.

( Dobie Gray  " Drift Away .")

 

 

 

 

JOKES

              

                   A bill collector knocked on the door of a coutry debtor.  "Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door.  "Sorry," the woman replied.  " Fred`s gone for cotton."

The next day the collector tried again.  "Is Fred here today ?"  "  No, sir," she said, " I`m afraid Fred has gone for cotton ."

When returned the third day he humphed ,  " I suppose Fred has gone for cotton again,?" No," the woman answered solemnly, " Fred died yesterday."

Suspicious he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself.  But sure enough, there was poor Fred`s tombstone, with this inscription :.....

" Gone, But Not for Cotton." 

                                     

 

A monastery in the English countryside had fallen on hard times, and decided to establish a business to help with their expenses, such as a bakery or vineyard.  Being English, however, they decided to open a fish and chip restaurant.  The establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over.  One city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one of the brothers standing nearby, " I suppose you`re the `fish friar`?"

" No," answered the brother levelly,  "  I`m the `chip monk`."

 

                                                           

OUR SUB POST OFFICE

This old sub Post office is just half a mile from my house.  I always walk along there to pay my phone bill, council tax, TV licence etc;  I was surprised that this old photo from the 1930`s is not really much different from today.  The building is exactly the same.  The exteral door into the Post Office is a `stable` type door. The sort where the door has a top half and a bottom half.  In summer the top half is open all day and the couple who run the place can get some air.  Inside the shop they sell sweets and a few basic groceries like bread and milk.

The only real difference that I can see is the lack of cars parked outside the shop in a small layby that is there now, also at the top of the road there is now a small roundabout leading straight on to the hospital which has been there since the middle 1960`s.

I do hope that the Post Office will continue as a business as it serves the  village of Wexham very well and it would be a shame to lose an old building that has been there all my life and many years before that.

PHOTOS

These cottages in Freefolk, just west of Laverstoke, Hampshire are estate workers dwellings built in 1939 by Lord Portal of Laverslake.

To see more photographs of the surrounding areas CLICK HERE. 

HAPPY DAYS

I came across this photo in the book I have about my home town of Slough.  How lucky I wasn`t around in the 1920`s when I would have to wear whalebone corsets.....!     How uncomfortable they must have been but maybe to the women of that time they were the height of fashion.  The Slough Co-op was the large store in the town where my school uniforms were bought for me.   Standing in the place of that store today are a number of expensive designer shops and little is now left of the old buildings I remember from my childhood.  The town is being renovated and the old town being replaced by soulless concrete that will mean nothing to present generations of children as they grow up.  I remember going into the town with my grandfather on a Saturday as a 4yr old and being taken to Fishers the butchers and eating a saveloy sausage as we walked down the old High St.   There used to be an old man that used to make toys out of magazine paper, just little boats and hats and things like that but every Saturday Grandad would buy me one of these from the old man`s tray and it became something that I so looked forward too.  Just a small thing but a very happy memory for me still,  forty-nine years later.