JOKES

              

                   A bill collector knocked on the door of a coutry debtor.  "Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door.  "Sorry," the woman replied.  " Fred`s gone for cotton."

The next day the collector tried again.  "Is Fred here today ?"  "  No, sir," she said, " I`m afraid Fred has gone for cotton ."

When returned the third day he humphed ,  " I suppose Fred has gone for cotton again,?" No," the woman answered solemnly, " Fred died yesterday."

Suspicious he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself.  But sure enough, there was poor Fred`s tombstone, with this inscription :.....

" Gone, But Not for Cotton." 

                                     

 

A monastery in the English countryside had fallen on hard times, and decided to establish a business to help with their expenses, such as a bakery or vineyard.  Being English, however, they decided to open a fish and chip restaurant.  The establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over.  One city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one of the brothers standing nearby, " I suppose you`re the `fish friar`?"

" No," answered the brother levelly,  "  I`m the `chip monk`."