"Fifty is the time to get up and go - before anything else does"
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"You`re never too old to become younger"
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"You can`t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again"
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" At middle age you suddenly become appalled by the way modern mirrors distort the reflection".
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Youre definetely over 50...
"....when your toenails are further off than they used to be".
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"....when comfort triumphs at last over fashion".
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"....when you need to have a rest after tying your shoelaces".
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"....when keeping your hair on means wearing a toupee".
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"....when you daren`t stop on a busy street in case some do-gooder wants to help you across the road."
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"....when your clothes no longer fit, and its you who need the alterations."
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"`After thirty-five years of marriage Sam`s wife died. At the end of a proper mourning period, Sam looked at himself and said, ` Life is not over. I can go out and have some fun and perhaps meet a nice younger woman and - who knows what?` Over an eighteen month period Sam joined a gym to tone up, lost forty pounds, bought a toupee, had all his teeth capped, got a nose job, had a little tuck taken in his chin, grew a moustache, got contact lenses and bought a new youth-orientated wardrobe. Finally one day he was ready to step out - he loved what he saw in the mirror. Unfortuately, that night Sam died and went to heaven, whereupon he met God. `God`, said Sam, ` I was a kind and loving husband, a wonderful father and grandfather, a charitable person, and honest and hardworking in my business. I was about to start a new life. Why did you do this?` `Sam`, replied God, `to tell you the truth, I didn`t recognise you`,"
courtesy of Fred Shoenberg,
from MIDDLE AGE RAGE AND OTHER MALE INDIGNITIES
1 comment:
Funny. LOL :)
Sharon
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