THE APE AT THE END OF THE PHONE

     This is a poem I found by James Fenton and and John Fuller. Its all about emotional system errors so I thought I`d share it with you.

THE APE AT THE END OF THE PHONE

I tried to send my love to you

By electronic mail.

They returned my Prestel Smoochagram:

Why do I always fail?

I want to blow a kiss to you

But I find my cover`s blown.

I`m worse that hit-or-miss to you.

I`m the Ape at the End of the Phone.

 

They handed me an Apple.

It yielded twenty bytes

And yet I went bananas

When I had you in my sights.

An Apricot was thrust at me

But it only made me groan.

I never thought you trusted me.

I`m the Ape at the End of the Phone.

 

I lifted the reciever;

There was nothing to recieve.

I`m the original Old Adam

An you`re the original Eve.

I`m Joseph and you`re Mary

And yet I feel alone.

Is it because I`m hairy?

I`m the Ape at the End of the Phone.

 

I thought that my insistence

Would charm the operator,

But when I order `Long Distance!`

She tells me to ring back later.

I`ve tried the gentlest murmer.

I`ve used a megaphone.

Its a Birmingham number, not Burma.

I`m going Ape at the End of the Phone.