A SCARE AND A LAUGH!

Hello everyone,

It`s pouring with rain today.  I`m indoors keeping dry and nothing much has happened so...... I give you a ghost story and a funny, well I think it`s funny....so tell me what you think because there`s more where that came from!

The Ghost of Abraham Crichton

In the 18th and 19th centuries, the churchyard of Sanquhar, in the Scottish borders, achieved notoriety on the account of the ghostly activities of a man called Abraham Crichton who died in 1745 in a very unpleasant manner after living a colourful life.

Cricton was a wealthy man, Laird of Carco and the owner of several properties in the area as well as a geat deal of land.  However, much to the suspicion of of various local people, he was declared bankrupt in 1741.  His properties and land were sold off bit by bit, but rumours circulated that Crichton was not in the dire straits he would have people believe.  He had somewhere, secreted away a great deal of money.  This, combined with the manner of his death, it was hardly surprising that his tortured soul would be unable to find peace.

There was an unused church in the district, which had belonged to another parish, that of Kirkbride.  For some years there had been a dispute as what to do with the building.  Some wanted to pull it down while others considered that to do so was sacrilege.  Previous attempts to demolish it had been unsuccessful and those that had had any part in it had met with much misfortune.  In the eyes of those believers these things were the wrath of God.  Abraham Crichton was having none of this and wanted the church pulled down.  He employed a group of workmen to accompany him to the building to start demolition. They set to work but as soon as they started an almighty storm blew up preventing them from carrying on that day.  They all set out for home, hoping to resume the next day. 

Whilst riding back from Kirkbride, Abraham Crichton`s horse was frightened by a bolt of lightening, causing it to rear up in panic and Crichton was thrown off.  A fall from a horse is bad enough but Crichton had caught his foot in the stirrup and was dragged along in the horse`s wake.  The horse galloped away at speed and it did not stop until it reached Sanquhar.  When the terrified horse eventually stopped, its owner lay dead, bloody and lifeless by it`s side.  His death was seen as divine retribution.  Not only had he been dishonest in his financial dealings but he had been guilty of sacrilege too, said his critics.  He should have never tried to pull down the church, the locals said self-righteously as preparations were made for his funeral.

But, they had not seen the last of Abraham Crichton.

Not long after he was buried in the graveyard at Sanquhar, he returned in ghostly form.  His ghost caused much consternation in the district.  He would chase passers-by in the fields next to the churchyard.  He would appear in the churchyard itself, frightening the life out of anyone there.  He always seemed to be trying to speak to thse he followed, his hand stretched out pleading, but nobody would dare take it. The churchyard became a place much feared in the hours of darkness and locals would take long detours to avoid the ghost of Abraham Crichton.

News of the haunting spread and much discussion took place among those interested in the paranormal.  Eventually, it was decided that something had to be done as the ghost was causing so many problems.  A minister by the name of Hunter was brought in to deal with the troublesome spirit.  The brave minister went to the churchyard at night, armed only with a Bible and a sword to await an encounter with Crichton.  He insisted on carrying out his vigil alone and no-one saw what happened that night.  When the morning came, however, the minister arrived back from the churchyard, tired but in a very confident mood.  He would not say what had happened in the long night hours and would only say that Abraham Crichton`s ghost wouldn`t wander again.

The ghost was never seen again but, just in case, the people of Sanquhar secued his tombstone in it`s place over the grave with very sturdy chains.

 

and now for something different......

September 1999, New York

A 44 year old Mineola man was more desperate to be rid of his flab than most.  Why not save money and allow his friend to perform amateur liposuction on him in his garage?

As you might guess, using a vacuum for liposuction is not the safest of weight loss programs.  He died in the makeshift clinic, the victim of a lidocaine overdose.

The fake physician apologised to the man`s family.