THE DOG AND THE LIGHTS!

Is this the face of an innocent dog...???

Hello everyone,

  I asked the question and now I give you the answer. NO it is not....  Jake is guilty, caught red-pawed and banged to rights.

Yesterday afternoon, Jim caught Jake chewing up one of our solar lights he had removed from the garden.  Alas, the light couldn`t be saved and was consigned to the dustbin, and the culprit shouted at and banished to his bed looking very sorry for himself indeed!  

Last night after Kerry and myself had enjoyed our fillet steak, (thinking of you journallers while I ate the succulent meat!)   I let Jake out for a ten minute stroll around the garden.  It was cold last night so I closed the door on him and went back to watch the film on the TV....and totally forgot he was outside.   I hour later I remembered and opened the door expected to see him waiting there....he wasn`t and I saw him on the lawn with another light in his mouth, well what was left of it anyway.  Now what was I going to tell Jim?   Er well, as it happens nothing, because like the coward I am I went outside armed with a torch and picked up as many bits of plastic and debris that I could find and disposed of them in the bin with the remains of the first one.

After that I put it in the back of my mind, saw Kerry and Roman to the car, and went off to bed.  Jim and Danny got back home some time between 1 and 2am after having an excellent night out and then after that I went to sleep.  When I awoke this morning I went outside to check if I had cleared up the garden properly.  I had, a job done well!

Jim took Jake out for a run, fed him and let him outside to sleep in the garden.....very bad move.  I was upstairs ironing when I heard the shouting.  I heard this " HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THAT B*%£^Y DOG HAS DONE OUT HERE?   COME HERE YOU MONGREL.....! GERRIN THE HOUSE!  HE`S ONLY GONE AN CHEWED UP ANOTHER ONE!   Hang on....it looks like he`s had two of them, there`s only three left now.  Do you know anything about it?"    ( Me...never  lol!)

I owned up and told him about last night.  Jim threatened to have Jake crated up and sent to the Dogs Home if he didn`t start toeing the line and has vowed never to have solar lights in the garden again.  He will, I can guarantee it.

 

Well nothing else has happened here today.  It`s a normal quiet Sunday for which I`m grateful.  Danny has gone home.  Kerry and Slava are out visiting and I`m all on my own and it`s really nice too!

So now I will leave with a few odds and ends for your amusement.  Have a nice day dear friends and please take care.

 

ODDS AND ENDS

"Insanity is hereditary: you get it from your children."

Sam Levenson   (1911-1980)

 

Mat Hand holds the record for eating 211 peas with a cocktail stick in three minutes. He also holds the record for eating 133 grapes with a plastic spoon in three minutes.

 

A skeleton walked into a bar and said, "I`ll have a lager and a floormop please."

" Women have many faults, men have only two: everything they say, and everything they." 

 Anon

14 July 1999, Arkansas

A mobile home in Little Rock was destroyed when a resident used a cigarette lighter to peer inside a gasoline can.  It`s the same old story:  Marcel was trying to determine whether there was water in the gas can when he discovered it contained....gas!   The flammable fumes caught fire and Marcel slung the can onto the floor, splattering gasoline which ignited and set the residence ablaze.  He suffered minor burns to his hand.  The homeowner and her son escaped the blaze, but the family dog did not not survive.