COUNTDOWN BEGINS

 

                                                                            by Derasta

 

It`s starting to sink in now and I don`t like the feeling one little bit.    On Wednesday I`m at last going to have the surgery on my arm.  To say that I`m worried about it is a massive understatement.  I am completely terrified.  It`s not the thought of the sugery itself but the aneasthetic.  I`m a real coward where they are concerned just in case I have some awful reaction or something.  Fifteen years ago I had a major op. and it lasted a long time.  My blood pressure is very low at the best of times but that time it plummeted and I remember waking up to find myself tipped back with my feet much higher than my head.  It was very frightening an d it happened again during a small up a few years ago too.  Well, at least they know about this and I`ve been told that they will keep a close eye on me, mind you, I would like to hope that they would do that anyway !   As it`s day surgery I will hopefully be home that night as I don`t have any intention of of staying.  I was told day cases are operated on in the morning for that very reason.  It`s case of put `em to sleep, cut `em up, sew `em up and chuck `em out !  I expect I won`t be online for a couple of days and I`ll have to type one-handed as I`ll be unable to bend my arm for at least a fortnight as I`ll have a very thick dressing around my elbow joint.   Normal, every day tasks such as having a shower are going to be very difficult but I`m very adaptable.  I`ve had to be since my left hand stopped working properly some months ago now, hence the need for this operation.  At first when the problem started I couldn`t hold a fork or tie laces, or do anything that needed the use of all five fingers.  But after a while 1`ve got used to only using my thumb, index and middle finger and never give it a thought anymore.  Now after surgery I should be back to full use after a couple of months.

Today we had snow.  For a full five minutes we had snow , and it was the sort that had it continued it would have settled and it would have been great !  That`s probably the most snow we`ll see this year.  Soon it will be Spring and warm days will beckon, just as long as that freezing north wind dies down first.  It hasn`t yet as Jim has just come back from taking Jake for his evening walk and he ( Jim, that is) is freezing. Anyway, until tomorrow , take care and enjoy what`s left of Sunday.

                                                    

 

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

John Barrymore

A woman drove me to drink, and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.

W.C. Fields

Winston, If I were married to you, I`d put poison in your coffee.

Nancy Astor

Nancy, if you were my wife, I`d drink it.

Winston Churchill

 

OFFICE PARTY

I think I enjoyed the party.

I cannot remember it well.

My stomach is churning in circles

and my poor head is hurting like hell.

 

I think I enjoyed the buffet,

but the crab paste was long past it`s best.

The quiche was awash with heaven knows what

and the salad was limp and depressed.

 

The cheese cubes on sticks were all crusted,

the vol-au-vents soggy and stale,

the trifle was dusted with fag ash

and smelt less of sherry than ale.

 

I think I enjoyed the fruit cup,

and a glass of the manager`s wine.

The gin and the Scotch and the vodka

all left me feeling just fine.

 

The problems began with the brandy -

one sip of it went to my head.

I remember removing my stockings,

and then...... I wish I was dead !