AFTER CHRISTMAS

`Twas the month after Christmas,

and all through the house...

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I`d nibbled, the eggnog I`d taste

At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

 

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store ( less a walk than a lumber).

I`d remember the marvellous meals I`d prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare,

 

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

And the way I`d never said " No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband`s old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

 

I said to myself, as only I can

" You can`t spend the winter dressed as a man!"

So...away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

 

Every last bit of food that i like must be banished

`Til all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won`t have a cookie--- not even a lick

I`ll only want to chew on a long celery stick.

 

I won`t have hot biscuits or corn bread or pie,

I`ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I`m hungry , I`m lonesome and life is a bore --

But isn`t that what January is for ?

 

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to alland to all a good diet !

unknown.