Happy Days and Thank Yous`

 

 

 

 

I want to thank you for the birthday wishes you sent me, either by email, journal comments or the cards that I recieved in the post, it was really kind of you and I`m really grateful to you all.

I had a really lovely day yesterday and I have never had so many birthday cards. 

 

Jim gave me my present in the morning, a pair of binoculars that I had wanted for a long time along with a book about British birds. Kerry gave me a big bottle of my signature perfume Bulgari BLV which I adore.  I use it every day whatever I`m doing, in my opinion good perfume is meant to be worn and not saved for a special occasion. I had almost run out and was thrilled that Kerry had got me some more, it should last me almost a year even with daily use. I also was given two sets of hand care products, one from Roman and the other from Kerry`s friend Sharon. I was really pleased to have them because my hands are quite neglected and because of my job they are in very bad condition. Now I have no excuse not to give them a lot of TLC to get them back into condition. I was also given money so I think I`ll buy something to do with the garden.

 

The postman hadn`t come when I went to work so I couldn`twait until I got home to see if he`d brought me any cards. I couldn`t believe it when I saw the pile that had been left for me....just like a child I suppose....lol!  Then the phone rang for the first time....and then it rang again...and again ..........and again. I lost count of how many phone calls from friends and family wishing me Happy Birthday, I know I`ve already said it but it was a wonderful day.

 

Danny came round in the early evening and brought me a large bouquet of flowers, some fudge and a chocolate panna cotta pecan cake, how I`m going to eat it all I have no idea but I`ll do my best ....lol! The only downside to the day was a phone call from my brother`s wife. She always tries to get me and my brother closer together but the fact is we are not at all close. We don`t argue, we just don`t have very much in common and just live our own lives. We usually see each other maybe once a year at Christmas but this year we were at Kerry`s so we didn`t meet up. My poor SIL does worry because she comes from a very close family so I had to try to explain to her that there really isn`t anything to worry about but its just the way things are. She still doesn`t understand though she does mean well so Jim and I have agreed to visit them in the next couple of weeks. I just hope we are doing the right thing, my SIL is a lovely woman and I adore my two nephews but my brother isn`t easy to get on with but I will try.

 

I`ve found out why we`ve had so much trouble with AOL. Jim rang their Technical Support line and he was told that we need to re-install windows because a computer gets worn out just like anything else. Although we know someone who can do it for us he has decided to buy a new computer. He ordered it this morning and it will be here in a few days. I must it has been showing signs of age lately so it will soon be consigned to a rubbish tip. Jim won`t take any chances and plans to smash it to pieces so it can`t be used by anyone else. He will of course take out any parts that he wants to keep, ie. the modem, the DVD player and a couple of things that I can`t remember.

 

The weather has been dreadful today with really heavy rain and more forecast over the next couple of days. I had wanted to do some gardening this weekend but I comsoled myself by planting the dahlias in trays to start them off, planting sunflower seeds and repotting a bougainvillea ready for Summer. I`d much rather get outside and start weeding the beds but not in the rain, no absolutely NOT!

 

Anyway, my friends, thank you again for your Birthday wishes, they mean so much to me. If I haven`t commented on your journal just lately, I`m really sorry  it`s because I`m being thrown offline so many times, thats if I`m lucky enough to get online in the first place. Hopefully all will be well once we have the new computer.  Take care and have a lovely weekend. :o)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Easter and Birthdays

I hope you all had a nice Easter holiday weekend. We had a lovely time here and had so much to eat, lots and lots of chocolate eggs, roast dinners and of course the Guinness cake, made by my own fair hands...hehe!

The cake turned out as well as I`d hoped and has all gone now. It made a desssert for Sunday and Monday`s dinner and there was still some left for Danny, Kerry to take some home and for a friend of ours to have a slice. It certainly went a long way but I`m sure a great deal of it is sitting around my waist, along with all the chocolate that I`ve eaten....and I still have quite a bit left to eat.  When it`s gone I really have to shift 8lbs before our holiday to Canada in August. I stepped on the scales yesterday and couldn`t believe my eyes..... I didn`t realise I`d put on that amount of weight. The thing is it doesn`t sound much but I`m small built and can`t carry any extra baggage without it showing, anyway my clothes are a bit tighter than I`d like...sigh.

Despite the holiday I worked Good Friday and Easter Monday and I was surprised just how many customers we had. I suppose at this time of the year peoples thoughts turn to their gardens after a long winter. We sold a lot of shrubs and herbs which are on special offer at the moment though I won`t be buying either this year. I bought herbs last year and most of them survived the winter though I have some Basil and Rocket seeds to plant. Jim has agreed to put a base down for the  greenhouse that I have been saving for. I`m really looking forward to getting it. This afternoon I was going to clean my car after work but a heavy downpour made me decide against it. Instead I went into the garden to tie back some clematis and inspect the roses. I`m really pleased with them all as they are covered in new foliage and are really healthy looking. I`m hoping for some really good blooms this year.

Yesterday my car went into the garage to see why the sunroof is leaking. I hoped it would just be the drainage channels but of course it couldn`t be something as simple as that, now could it? No, they have to take it apart again but it can`t be done until next Tuesday. Oh dear, I just hope that this time they get it right because I can see myself taking a baseball bat to that infernal car...lol!

Today at work I was really busy, running here and there all morning. One minute I was unloading a pallet of compost and the next I was running back to serve customers, I`m surprised I didn`t meet myself coming back....lol!  When I`m round the back of the centre, where we store things, I always like to look around at the birds. There are Woodpeckers, spotted and green. I saw another Red Kite yesterday and this morning I saw a Kestral. If I looked a bit harder I would probably see a few rats but I try my best not to . We have the odd frog or toad and once there was a frog in the shop which startled a few customers who were looking in the book section. One minute they were browsing quietly the next this creature hopped in front of them, guess who had to get rid of it???

Tomorrow is my birthday but there will be no celebrations :o(  Jim is working late shifts and Kerry can`t get here until Saturday. I really don`t mind though and knowing me when I wake up in the morning I won`t even remember it is my birthday. Anyway, I`m going to make myself a cup of coffee, take care and Bye Bye for now.

 

PS:  I`ll be 35 tomorrow......and if you believe that you`ll believe anything....! ;o))))

 

 

 

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Getting Ready for the Weekend Rush

 

It`s about time I got into gear and posted an entry. I am getting really lazy these days...lol!  It`s really cold here today and its supposed to be getting colder, not much fun seeing as I`m working tomorrow and Easter Monday.....I just hope the great British public decided to visit their local garden centres at the weekend, I really want to be as busy as I have been the last few days.

                                                     

                

 

Actually I have so many aches and pains that I`m like the walking wounded. The old arthritis is playing me up with the joints in my right knee, neck, shoulder and both hands all a bit swollen....bah!  I could do without that but I`ll just suffer in silence...lol!

                                   

                

My car is booked into the garage where I bought it from to have the sunroof looked at again . Jim rang them up to see if they could have a look even though he thought there was little chance and to his surprise, not only did they agree but there will be no charge. Actually considering that they sold me the car with a dodgy sunroof, then replaced it and STILL it leaks, they SHOULD do something about it. This time when I take it in on the 25th they have promised me a courtesy car, something they went back on last time to my extreme annoyance. Hopefully, before long  I`ll be able to drive my car without having to wear a snorkel and flippers each time it rains...lol!

Kerry, Slava and Roman will be here for dinner on Sunday and they will be staying over until Monday evening. Dan is watching an important football match on Sunday and will be here for dinner on Monday. I am making a Guinness cake courtesy of Nigella Lawson. Its a moist, dark chocolate cake with an even richer white topping made from cream cheese, whipped cream and icing sugar. I`ve made it several times before and everyone loves it. The only drawback is that it contains about 50 billion calories but do I care?....HUH, ask me next week....lol!  By the way if anyone want the recipe, please send me an email and I`ll send it your way. It`s not one of those cakes that is too rich at all and its easy to make.

Next week it`s my birthday along with Slava just 3 days later. It`s Jim`s next month and then Dan`s in May...my goodness my baby boy is almost 31...and he`s got the odd grey hair...lol!  Today I recieved an invitation to a friend`s sixtieth birthday party in July, that will give me time to think of what present I should by her. What on earth do you buy someone who doesn`t need anything? If I ask her she`ll tell me not to bother so I`ll have to think hard.

 

                                        

                              

                                        

I am desperate to get back out in the garden. I`ve noticed even more plants have come back from last year and I want to plan where my summer plants are going to go. I know it`s early but I like to plan ahead. Some of the things I want this year I will have to send away for because we don`t sell them. I am going to buy a black bamboo from work and put it in a large container...I think it can look quite dramatic and I love the sound it makes when its blowing in the wind. Hopefully the garden will be better than last year. I was a bit disappointed with my choice of colours last Summer ( I had mainly white and purple) so I`m going back to my favourite red, orange and yellows as a colour scheme for this year. I`ve bought lots of dahlias and if they all come up I`m hopeful for a lovely display. Let`s hope the weather is better this year though, less rain and lots more sun.

The new neighbours have spoken to us a few times, at least the husband has, I don`t think his wife speaks English.  They are very quiet and we`ve never even heard their baby cry at all.  It is nice to not have to listen to the dreadful language and fights that went on on the other side of the wall anymore. Peace reigns once again...happy sigh!

Anyway, my friends, thats it from me this evening. I hope you all had a lovely day, take care and Bye Bye for now.

 

 

 

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Saturday Bits and Pieces

After much trouble with AOL this afternoon I finally managed to get online. I`m getting really fed up with the bad service that we are getting from them. Also our telephones have packed up so Jim went out this morning to buy new ones, though we did get BT to check out our line first.  As for me I had a hairdressers appointment at 11pm.  I usually have it done every 6 weeks but I had to change my day from last Saturday to this. My hair looked more like a haystack than the sleek bob that it`s meant to be. Anyway I emerged from there looking much more presentable than when I went in...lol!

Yesterday and Thursday at work were manic, I was rushed off my feet and went home both days exhausted. But, would I change it? Not for one minute, I enjoy being very busy and in fact I thrive on it and of course the time just flies by. We had a visit from one of the actors from the film set yesterday, I recognised him straight away but I can`t for the life of me remember his name. He was really nice and chatty and was just like any other customer. I would say if anyone had any airs or graces it was the film crew not the cast. The set had almost completely taken over the car park and on Friday when I arrived at work at 8.30am I had to drive around looking for a place to park so I won`t be sorry when they`re gone. When I drove home there was loads of police down the road, at first I thought they were filming but I`m not sure. I didn`t see any cameras there but I did see a young lad who was being held by an officer and he looked really pale, surely even an actor wouldn`t look like that.

When I arrived home I decided to plant the new rose as the weather was so nice. So there she is taking pride of place in a half oak barrel, planted with the right compost and rotted leaf mould, collected specially from the floor of Black Park.  I watered it well and if it doesn`t thrive I will want to know why!

This afternoon I was hoping that we could visit Saville Gardens near Windsor but before I could mention it to Jim he said he was going to put some more shelves in a kitchen cupboard for me. It was a toss-up, new shelves or Saville Gardens...hmmm?  Saville Gardens will always be there but would Jim`s shelves offer?  The shelves won....lol! He`s just shouted upstairs that they are now finished so I can put all the things away that have been taking up space in cupboards. Maybe a visit to the gardens tomorrow if the weather stays fine.

Anyway, my friends. I hope you are all having a nice, restful weekend, Bye Bye and take care. :o)

 

 

 

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Murder in the Car Park

Click on the tag to read about my "Grace" rose bush.

 

Hello everyone,

It`s been a very blustery day, not quite gale force but pretty close I would imagine. My poor car was blown all over the place on the jouney to work this morning. When I was about to turn into the car park at work I had to stop for a rather bewildered looking pheasant that was walking around in the road. At first I thought he was walking to the other side when he suddenly turned around and started back the way he came, eventually he made up his mind to walk into the ditch so I managed to be able to drive off without being late for work.  Later on a colleague had to do the same thing but this time for a female bird. I think she must have been looking for her rather confused mate!

We have a film crew in the car park at the moment which brings a little excitement to an otherwise unremarkable week. They are here to film an episode of " Midsomer Murders" starring John Nettles. We won`t see anyone famous because they are filming in nearby Burnham Beeches and the main actors are far too grand to grace our humble little garden centre with their presence.

I`ve seen our new neighbours again so I smiled and said "Hello" but was met with blank expressions. Oh well, at least I tried...sigh. It is nice however that they are much quieter than the last occupants which should mean peace and quiet in the evenings, especially in the Summer when the windows are open.

A colleague reminded me that Easter will be here at the end of next week. It doesn`t seem as though Christmas was that long ago either. Oh well, I`d better get a couple of Easter eggs this week though I`m under orders from Kerry not to buy onefor Roman...hmmm.....we have some chocolate carrots at work and I might buy a packet of them for him. Carrots are healthy aren`t they?...lol!

I`ve just thought, if it`s Easter next week its my birthday the week after and I`ll be 56...good grief, am I really that old?  I can`t be, someone must have got the date wrong on my birth certificate!

Now I`m gardening again after the Winter lay off I`m really keen to plant some new shrubs, some of the old ones are past their best and I have some good ideas of what I`d like to replace them with. I was having a look at my orchids today and two of them have new leaves growing. One of them I didn`t think was going to survive, let alone have new growth so I`m really pleased.  The pansy orchid I had decided to die on me even though I took care good care of it. I have a feeling it might have been diseased but thankfully it wasn`t anywhere near the others that are healthy. Time to buy another one methinks...lol!

That`s it from me for today. I hope you`ve all had a good day. Take care.

 

 

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Photos At Last!

Visit to Kerry`s House

 

Right, let`s hope this entry makes it on to the page. I did a really long entry about my visit to Kerry`s only for it not to show up at all. I did get some comments which meant that it was visible to everyone else but as far as I was concerned it had vanished into thin air so I reluctantly deleted it, flippin` AOLHell...grrr!

 

Anyway, down to business. I had a really good time in Hampshire, away from th hustle and bustle of work and day to day life. Kerry lives in a large village in  the countryside and the pace of life is a bit slower than here. She and Slava have been busy decorating since they moved there in November and they have done a grand job of it so far, really transforming the scruffy little house into a warm and welcoming home that you can really comfortable in. When I think what it was like before we cleaned it up I could never have imagined how quickly they have transformed it. They have done all the upstairs rooms and Slava has started on the stairs and hallway. They have ordered the stair carpet and knowing them they will be finished there in little over a week. On Saturday Jim helped Slava lay the bedroom carpet  before we went home and Kerry says it`s lovely being able to step out of bed onto a warm floor instead of the cold laminate that was there before.

 

We had great fun with Roman, taking him to his various activities where he seems to have so much fun. He has certainly changed from a rather shy little boy, especially with other children who he generally shied away from. Now he has so much confidence and plays happily with them all, especially the little girls...lol! He never stops taking and he is constantly amazing us all with his extremely good vocabulary, even his nursery teacher says he is very advanced for his age and uses a " very complex vocabulary for such a young child", praise indeed. The other day in the car I was chatting awayto Kerry when he piped up, " Nana, Nana, I`m talking to you, are you listening?"   I was absolutely gobsmacked, then he says " Excuse me Nana, I`m talking to you!" and it was so clear it could have come from an adult.  I wonder if such things are genetic, Kerry was just the same and I was once asked " Did I read the dictionary to her?"  .....lol!  We went shopping in Reading where Kerry bought new cushions for her new sofas and some new curtains for her bedroom. All I bought was a sheet and pillowcase set that was reduced to half price, they are excellent quality and I came away very satisfied that I had a great bargain. While we were there Jim went fishing and caught 9 carp of different sizes. He didn`t catch any monsters but he was really happy to catch as many as he did. The lake where he fished is right by the AWE in Aldermaston, which is the only place in the UK that has produced  nucleur weapons. Jim did say that the fish were glowing green and had three heads but of course he was joking....at least I think he was.....lol!

 

I must admit that the more I visit Kerry the more I want to live there, or at least quite close by. It`s a lovely area and I know we could be happy there. After much thought I know I wouldn`t be happy if we moved further away from our children, all I have to do is bring Jim around to my way of thinking.  We have about 9 years before we retire so I have plenty of time to do it...lol!

 

While we were there we visited the garden centre, a bit of a busman`s holiday for me I suppose but I`ve been looking for a particular rose and haven`t been able to find it anywhere. As it happened they were out of stock there too and I thought I`d have to try the internet, but guess what? I went into work today and there it was, just the one David Austen rose "Grace", just waiting to be taken home by little ol` me.

 

Yesterday morning Jim and I did some much needed work in the garden. I tidied the flower beds, cleared out the old plants from the pots and did some pruning where it was possible. Jim gave the lawn a quick trim to even it up and the end result was that it looked much , much better than before. Now we have the heavy rain that has been forecast it can give the earth a good soak before I venture out there again.

 

It was actually nice to go back to work today after the week off. I loved being away but it`s just as nice to be home again, if you know what I mean. As much as I love my family I will always want my own space and independence from them, as of course they need theirs too. Of course that is the way it should be I think, I`ve done my maternal bit and I`m very happy that my children are able to take their places in life as happy, well-adjusted young adults.

 

We have new neighbours at last, they must have moved in Saturday when we weren`t here. I have seen them but haven`t spoken to them yet. I have a feeling that they will be far better neighbours and more considerate than the previous ones, time will tell though so fingers crossed.

 

Anyway, that`s it from me for today. I hope you like the photos I`ve posted on Kerry`s recently decorated living room and of course my beloved Little Man who I have to photograph any chance I get...lol!  Have a lovely afternoon my friends, Bye Bye for now.

 

 

 

 

PS:  AOL won`t let me post the photos, I`ll try again tomorrow....grrrr!

 

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Thank You One and All

Thank you, thank you, thank you one and all. I didn`t expect as many supportive and kind comments that I recieved for yesterday`s entry, it really gave me a boost. In fact I wondered if I`d come in for a bit of critism, you know, mothers and daughters have to love one another so it does make me sound a bit weird I suppose.

Also I must tell you that I haven`t always been what I call a natural mother myself. Having no role model, seeing as how I was brought up by my rather strict father, who it has to be said, did his best under really difficult circumstances. I loved dad and he loved my and my little brother, I know that but it wasn`t perfect by any means.  Anyway, when I first found out I was expecting Kerry, Jim was thrilled but I was, I`m afraid, mortified. By the way Kerry knows this so I`m not giving away a dark secret. What did I know about children and how could I love one ?   God, I was the most frightened I`d ever been in my life. When she was born she was the image of my mother which was a bit of a shock, but I fell in love with her straight away and just hoped and prayed that she would love me back.

No, motherhood didn`t come easily and I often wished there was a guide book that would help me along the way, however, I DID make a solemn promise to myself that my children would NOT be the victims of divorce and they would be safe from harm and loved deeply, no matter what life threw at me. I suppose being a reasonably good mother was only something that I`d spent time working at, like anything else, we all make mistakes occasionally.

My reward IS that my children have grown up safe and sound. They are bright, emotionally strong, well educated and both have good jobs. Kerry is happily married with my darling Roman who she loves without question. Daniel is, well Daniel and apart from the fact I wish he`d settle down he is doing well for himself.I can`t help but hope he will marry and have children one day but who knows. So life goes on, I`m a fully paid up member of the older generation and really I couldn`t be happier...apart from the arthritis of course....lol!

I will continue to take flowers to the crematorium because my mother wasn`t all bad, just not the type to settle down and have children. I wouldn`t be who I am today without the experiences that shaped me as a child. There are no more `ifs` and `buts` and the past is the past where I am happy to leave it.

This morning I decided to take Jake for a walk, something I haven`t done very much of lately, leaving it to Jim.  It was bitterly cold on the way out but walking back with the wind behind me in felt much warmer. Walking along the country roads the birds were singing and I could see magnolia trees in full bud, their saucer sized blooms almost ready to open in all their glory. Spring has always been my favourite time of the year with the prettiest flowers and new growth springing up everywhere, a time of rebirth....just heavenly.

I will be turning of alerts as I don`t want them building up while I`m away. I`m going to enjoy my few days with Kerry and hopefully a bit of relaxation....who am I kidding? Not with Roman I won`t be...lol! Anyway, thank you all again, I`m very grateful. See you in a few days. :o)

 

 

A Cathartic Moment

A late entry for me today but at least I made it. I`ve been trying to post a particular entry for the last few years and today after cancelling it half way through I`ve realised that I never will now.

Let me explain. After my mother died almost three years ago I at last had the peace I`d sought after many years of a kind of torment. After she left home when I was 12 we had little contact and the times we did meet were full of friction. About five years again I visited her and her fourth husband ( my dad was number one) in Spain where she emigrated too with her third.   It was that complicated.  But I digress, Jim and I visited and I hoped against hope that I would realise that I did love her after all....it was a complete disaster and when she hugged me I froze and realised that a mother`s love had eluded me forever....then she died and I cried for what might have been to be a loving daughter to a mother who loved me in return.

That paragraph summed up my life until I had "closure" three years ago. Now all I feel is compassion mixed with pity for a woman who in her own words had "no maternal instinct" and really didn`t even know me. Once a year on Mother`s Day I visit the local crematorium and leave some roses. I don`t take a card, just the flowers as I know that the gesture is enough. I choose that day because I never sent her a card in life, it would have been hypocritical. I have tried many times to put into words why we had no relationship but each time I try is just gets muddled and makes no sense so I just won`t try again. I decided that enough is enough and I don`t think I need to talk about it in detail anymore apart from saying that no, deep down I didn`t love her, just the thought of the mother she might have been if she wanted. I hope this makes sense.

On a much happier note, my own family were all here yesterday. Kerry and Slava stayed here Saturday night because they were going out with friends, Jim and I had the task of babysitting Roman which was great fun as usual. On Sunday morning, we all with the exception of Jim who was working, went into Windsor for a walk around the town and along the river. Slava bought Kerry and I a hot chocolate in Costa`s with whipped cream and marshmallow in top....it was scrummy! Later on I cooked a roast chicken dinner and Danny arrived just in time to eat it, though he didn`t stay too long...I think there is a woman on the scene but he`s not saying at the moment.

I didn`t have to get up early for work today as I`m on holiday....yay! Instead I got up an hour later and still ended up working all morning at home!  I did a huge pile of ironing, did some more washing and took advantage of a blustery day to dry it all on the line. I have to make sure the house in tip top shape because I`m going to Kerry`s on Wednesday morning until Saturday night and I don`t want to leave the house messy to come back to. Jim will join me after finishing work on Thursday and he plans to go fishing all day Friday. He`s already found a lake near to Kerry where there are good facillities and he can`t wait to go there...oh well, once a fisherman, always a fisherman.

Kerry and I of course, have much better things to do. Shopping in Reading on Thurday and the rest of the time will be taken up with Roman`s activities which I love to take part in.  Jim is very welcome to his fishing lake....lol!  Also it will be nice not to be doing any housework or cooking for a few days and of course I love the area where they live, it has made me realise that moving to Kent may not be such a good idea as I`d thought, I don`t want to move to far away from my family. Jim and I are going to have to talk long and hard about this little matter.

Anyway, I have read most of the journal alerts that I`ve had today, very good for me as I`ve been quite lazy of late and not been commenting as much as I`d really like. I hope you`ve all had a lovely day, take care. :o)

 

 

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